In Memory
by Seldenta
Summary: When Sams boyfriend, Lucas beats him for the last time Dean comes to the rescue. Is he to late to help his brother, or will he arrive in time? Warnings: Slash, Rape, Strong language, Abuse, Graphic scenes. COMPLETE
1. Safe In My Arms

**Safe In My Arms**

Summary: When Sams boyfriend, Lucas beats him for the last time Dean comes to the rescue. Is he to late to help his brother, or will he arrive in time?

Pairings: (Dom/Sub) Dean/Sam, Lucas/Sam

**Warnings: Abuse, Slash, Pre-Wincest, Rape**

Notes: Herebutnotremembereds video, Sam and Emily gave me the idea of a Sam abused story. **Don't like slash or wincest? Turn back now. DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE NOT OVER 18.  


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The crash echoed through the house, though the only two people to hear it were currently the cause. Lucas had punched Sam, causing him to fall into the coffee table. It broke under his weight, and the force of the fall.

"Now look what you did!" Lucas screamed as he drove his foot into the downed Sams side, causing Sam to gasp out and curl in on himself, trying to protect himself as Lucas pulled his foot back and plunged it into Sams arm. Tears were streaming down Sams face as he gasped again. "P-plea-se st...top." He gasped, trying to roll away from Lucas as he kicked him again. "Please stop. Always so whiny. How could Dean ever put up with you?" Lucas yelled, driving his foot into Sams arms over and over, before kicking him in the legs.

Kneeling down he shoved Sam, climbing on top of him, reeking of alcohol. "Poor little Sammy, so conflicted. Wanting to fuck his brother, but fearing he'd hate him. Who couldn't? You're a disgusting little whore." Lucas hissed into Sams face as he ripped Sams pants and boxers down, unzipping his own pants. "Such a good whore." He smirked, thrusting into Sam unprepared and moaning at the feeling as Sam screamed out in pain and tried to move away. Lucas grabbed his hands, pinning them down by his head. "You know you like it, slut." He hissed, pulling out and thrusting back in roughly.

Sam cried out again, tears streaming down his face. "Stop! Ple...oh god...please. Lu...cas …. please!" Sam sobbed as Lucas pounded into him relentlessly. One of Lucas' hands was lifted, backhanding Sam across the face. "Shut the fuck up." He hissed, thrusting harder and harder into Sam before he tensed, groaned and then the heat of his cum was felt, filling up Sams ass. Sam seemed to sob harder at this. When Lucas pulled out he grimaced at his dick, crawling over Sam and sitting on his chest, grabbing him by his hair. "Suck." He snarled, his dick pressed against Sams lips. "Clean up your mess." Sam whimpered, but opened his mouth slowly knowing all to well that if he didn't it'd be worse. Lucas smirked "Good whore." Before thrusting into Sams waiting mouth. It wasn't long before he came again, and pulled out. "Such a good boy." Lucas sneered, patting Sam on the head before he walked away, calling over his shoulder "Clean up your mess, baby."

Sam laid there for god knows how long, before struggling to his feet. His stomach, legs and arms hurt. He was sure that his left arm was broken, and a few ribs. Limping into the bathroom he rushed to the toilet and puked, blood and a mixture of food and ...other stuff, came up. After a few minutes he stood shakily, flushed the toilet and limped to where he kept his cell phone, after pulling on some clean boxers and pants. He'd noticed that he had blood coming out of his arse, but couldn't worry about that now... . He had to get away, he had to. Grabbing his car keys and phone, he snuck outside and got in the car, starting it up and backing out of the driveway. As he did, he saw Lucas standing in the doorway, glaring at him. Stomping on the gas, he sped down the street, weaving through traffic until he was sure he wasn't being followed. "Thank god." He gasped, tears stinging his eyes. He drove for several hours, before stopping at a motel.

Walking inside he knew he had to look a mess. "Can I...dear god! Are you alright?" The lady behind the counter asked, rushing around to check on him. "M'fine." He replied, flinching away from her. "I...need a room." "Sure sure, its on the house, stay as long as you need...are...you sure you're alright? Do I need to call the cops?" "I couldn't...I have money." "Its alright, I own the place." Sam nodded. "Thanks... er... and M'sure." He mumbled. She frowned at him but nodded, and handed him a key to a room, in the back. "In case whoever did this to you, comes looking." She had said. He thanked her again, before driving around back and parking the car several rooms down, before walking to the room.

Once inside he shut and locked the door, before sinking onto the bed. "Might as well...get this over with." He whispered to himself. Flipping open his phone, he scrolled through until coming to the name 'Dean'. But what if Dean didn't answer? What if he didn't wanna see Sam ever again? He figured he'd deserve it, after all he had left...and he had those sick feelings for his brother.

Shaking his head, he shut the phone. No he wouldn't bother Dean with his problems. He could do this alone...yea he could do this. Curling up on the bed he started to sob, clutching the phone to his chest. "God...Dean...I miss you, need you." He whimpered. Several hours later his phone rang, waking him from his fitful sleep. Blearily he looked at the ID, it said Dean. Gasping in a breath, he waited, staring. It couldn't be. A shaking hand lifted, prying the phone open and placing it to his ear. "Sammy?" It was Dean. "De..." He sobbed. "Sammy where are you? Are you alright? Missouri called me, said something awful happened to you!" Missouri, she was a life saver sometimes, and other times like now, a pain. "M'fine." He sobbed. "You don't sound fine. Sam please, talk to me."

Dean sounded so concerned, so worried about him. Closing his eyes he sucked in a breath. "Can...you come get me?" Sam whimpered. "Sure, sure I'm leaving now. Where are you?" Dean asked, and Sam swore he could hear Deans jacket being pulled on and the jingle of keys. "Maryland Heights...Missouri. At the Mariet Motel, room 20A" Dean snorted at the irony. "I'll be there...by lunch tomorrow." Dean said. Sam nodded, though Dean couldn't hear it. "And Sammy?" "Yea?" "I love you." Sam whimpered at that. "Me too..De.." Dean sighed, Sam sounded so broken. "De?" "Yea?" "Talk to me till I fall asleep?" "Sure Sammy, sure." Sam smiled at that.

He listened to Dean start the Impala, and smiled as Dean started rambling about hunts he'd done and things he'd killed. Sam laid there for hours, basking in the sound of his brothers rumbling timbered voice. As his eyes started to droop he groaned. "Getting tired, Babe?" Dean tensed, he'd slipped. He had loved his brother for years, but he knew it was wrong. Knew he couldn't act on it. "M'ya... Did you just call me babe?" "Er...yea. We'll talk about it when I get there. Sleep Sammy." "Mk" Sam muttered, allowing sleep to take him.

The next day, Sam woke up around 11, and got dressed, before sitting on the bed watching TV. He wasn't going out, not until Dean got there. As his stomach grumbled he sighed, and glanced at the clock. 11:20. Shaking his head he reached towards the rooms phone, and called up to the office. "How can I help you?" The owner asked. "Yea Um...Could I bug you to bring me some food. I'm in room 20A...th...the per...son that did this to me... might be...out there." Sam whimpered. Lisette sighed, she hated hearing how broken the obviously handsome man was. "Sure, what do ya want to eat?" She asked, her tone warm and welcoming. "Um... Salad..." "And?" "...Diet coke?" "Just a salad and diet coke?" "...Yea." Was Sams quiet response. Lisette nodded "Alright, I'll be down in fifteen minutes." "Thanks..." "No problem...and Sir?" "Yes?" "Whoever hurt you, is an asshole." Sam smirked at that. "Thanks." Lisette said her goodbyes and they hung up.

Sam sighed, and sat back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. What would happen if Dean didn't show? Where would he go then? He couldn't stay here, and mooch off that nice lady. He couldn't stay because Lucas would find him... He didn't have any money though, well he had a hundred dollars but that wouldn't get him far. It seemed that the fifteen minutes sped by, when there was a knock on the door. He waited. "Sammy, It's me man." Dean. Moving off the bed he limped over to the door and wrenched it open. He didn't stop to think, but just threw himself at Dean, glad when his big brother wrapped his arms around him and just held him, as he sobbed into his shoulder, awkward as it was considering he was several inches taller then Dean.

Dean was shocked when he saw Sam open the door, his face was bruised, old but still there, and he limped as he moved towards him. When Sam threw himself at him, Dean did what came natural, he wrapped his arms around Sams back and rocked gently from side to side. His heart broke when that first sob was heard. "Shh I'm here Sammy. I'm here." He whispered, holding Sam. A throat clearing caused them to break apart, and Dean saw a woman standing there. Sam looked up and offered a weak smile. "Thanks..." He said, as she handed him the salad and coke. Shooting a warning glare at Dean, she looked back to Sam. "Everything okay sir?" Sam nodded. "Hes my brother...he won't hurt me." She nodded and walked back towards the office. Sam limped back into the room, letting Dean come in.

Dean shut and locked the door, watching as Sam limped towards the bed and sank down onto it. "God Sammy...What happened?" Dean asked as he moved towards his baby brother, reaching out to grasp his chin but stopping when Sam flinched. "I...De...served it." Sam whispered, looking away from Dean. Deserved it? Sam never deserved to be hurt! "No! You don't! No matter what you did, what you do. You never deserve to be hurt!" Dean said, and regretting raising his tone when Sam inched back from him. "Plea...se Don't hurt me.." Dean looked like someone had punched him in the gonads. "Sam...Sammy. I'd never hurt you." Dean whispered as he slowly approached his skittish brother. The salad and coke laid forgot about on the bed. "Your my baby brother. I'm suppose to protect you. Which, I obviously failed. But I would never, ever raise a hand to hurt you." Okay, so he had punched Sam in the past, but only when Sam taunted him. He would never hurt Sam though, not like Lucas had obviously done.

Sam watched as he approached, his hands extended infront of him, reaching for him. Sam tensed and twitched, before launching himself at Dean, his arms wrapping around Deans neck and squeezing, but not tight enough to hurt his brother. He buried his face into Deans shoulder and sobbed. Dean, stunned by the sudden launch stumbled back and landed on the floor at the end of the bed, with Sam on top of him. "Shhh...Its ok babe." He soothed, one of his hands stroking Sams head, as the other rubbed circles in his back. "Your safe." He continued softly. _Safe in my arms._ He thought as Sam inhailed deeply, and at the same time thought _I'm Home._

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A/N: So, What do ya'll think? Should I continue or leave it as a one shot? Also FU's newest chapter is coming soon, if you've read/are reading that fanfic as well. R&R Thanks.  
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	2. I'd Die For You

**I'd Die For You  


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Dean woke several hours later to the sun raising over the horizon. Confused as to when, and where he'd fallen asleep he tried to sit up only to be held down by a warm weight that was pressed on top of him. Glancing down he was greeted with a shaggy brown mop. His brows furrowed as he racked his brain for what happened the night before. Oh...OH That was right. _Sammy asked me to come, he sounded upset. _Glancing down at the mop of hair he lifted one of his hands and ran it through the hair, Sams hair. "Sammy." He called as his fingers ran through Sams hair. Sam groaned and nuzzled into his chest, his grip tightening on Deans shirt. Dean of course smirked at this, he always was hard to wake up if he didn't wanna get up. Of course this was the total opposite of if he wanted to be up, then he was hell.

With his smirk in place, he quit running his fingers through Sams hair, and instead shifted his brother off of him before tucking the covers around him once he was safely out of the bed. Shaking his head, he frowned at the bruises that littered Sams arms and legs, he didn't want to imagine what had happened or how his body actually looked. Anger flowed through him, when he looked at Sams right arm and noticed it was swollen and black and blue...it didn't look good. He had to force himself to swallow down the bile, and anger as his hands scrubbed at his face. He'd kill whatever did this to Sam. Visibly shaking he headed out to the Impala, grabbed his duffle and walked back in to shower and change. He so needed to take a walk, cool off before he woke Sam and demanded to know what happened to him.

Thirty minutes later he exited the bathroom cleaned and changed, and tossing the dirty clothes next to his duffle he grabbed the motel notepad and wrote a note.

'Sam,

Went to get us breakfast. If you wake while I'm gone I'll be back. Don't do anything stupid

Dean'

Glancing at the note he shrugged, wasn't mushy but it was totally him. Putting it on the nightstand he walked out of the room and slid into the Impalas front seat. Now to just find some place for breakfast... Shaking his head he started the impala and headed out of the parking lot. It didn't take long before he came upon a small diner, smirking to himself Dean pulled into the parking lot and got out, stuffing his phone into his pocket before heading inside. Upon entry he noticed that the diner seemed to be just the same as every other small town diner he'd seen in his life. This for some reason made a smirk to spread across his lips as he moved up to the counter and sat down on one of the stools, choosing it over the booths. "Hey sugar, what can I do ya for?" The waitress asked, appearing before him with a notepad. "Yea. I'll have one sausage egg biscuit, one Caesar salad, and two orange juices and two hash browns to go." Dean replied, offering her a blinding smile. She blushed and jotted down what he said before turning and putting it on the spinny thing the other orders were on. Dean never did figure out what that thing was called, but most diners had one.

While he waited, he couldn't help but turn around and lean back against the counter, hazel eyes drifting over the diner. There was a horrible flower wall paper on the walls, bordered with cheap wood and mahogany cushioned booths. Shaking his head he allowed a sigh to escape pursed lips, afraid of what had shaken Sam so much that he'd begged him to talk to him while he'd driven. It had been so long since Sam had done that, to be honest it kind of spooked him. "Here ya go sweetie." A voice said, causing Dean to look behind him. "Thanks." He said, paying for the food and grabbing the bag before sliding off the stool and heading back to his Impala. The drive back to the motel was short, but he found himself feeling relieved when he slipped in and caught the sight of his brother still asleep on the bed. Smiling he put the bag on the table, before moving towards the bed and grabbing the note crinkled it and shoved it in his pocket. One hand was placed on Sams shoulder and he shook him gently. "Sammy, wake up." The reaction however, was not one he was expecting. Sam lurched away from him and curled up, cowering against the wall. "I'm sorry Lucas! I'll be good!" Sam cried, his eyes clenched shut and fingers digging into his broken arm. Dean stood stunned, before shaking himself out of it and approaching slowly. "Shh. Sammy, its me. It's Dean." He said softly, squatting next to the bed. The reaction this time was slow. "No...no De would never save me...he'd think me sick...I deserve it...Bad...dirty." Sam mumbled before glancing up, green eyes meeting hazel. "De?" Sam whispered, blinking at the sight. Deans heart was breaking with each word, tears welling up in his eyes. "I'm here Sammy. Nothings gonna hurt you." Dean promised, slowly extending his hand. "De...DE!" Sam launched himself at Dean, tackling him to the floor and sobbing into his chest. Dean gasped as Sam landed on top of him, but wrapped his arms around Sam and began to rub circles.

"Thats it. Shh It's alright Sammy." Dean whispered, used to playing the protector and at times that meant comforting his over-sized brother. Sams hands clenched around the fabric of Deans shirt, his head lifting slowly. "De...My arm...hurts." Sam whispered, looking sheepish for tackling his brother to the ground. Dean chuckled and they both sat up, leaning against the bed. "Let me see it." Dean replied, holding out his hand. Sam obediently held out his arm, wincing when Dean grabbed it lightly. "It looks bad...hospital bad Sammy." Dean knew he kept calling Sam Sammy, but it was his way of showing affection. He wasn't the type of brother to get all huggy, or touchy feely. Sammy however, was HIS nickname for his brother. "No...I can't...they'll know, you'll know." Sam shook his head, tears welling up again. Dean reacted quickly, kneeling in front of his brother and gently grasping his face. "Look at me Sammy." Sam shook his head. "Sammy, look at me." Dean repeated in a sterner tone. Sam flinched and looked up, staring into Deans eyes. "Nothing, and I mean nothing will ever make me stop loving you. Your my baby brother. You're stuck with me, face it."

Sam smirked at this "Promise?" It came out quiet, meek. "Dude, I changed your diapers for YEARS. Some of the things you left in them would have made even the bravest man turn tail and run. I'm still here aren't I?" Dean asked, brushing hair from Sams face. Sam nodded, looking down. "I'd die for you. So yes, I promise. If you tell anyone we had this conversation though.." He trailed off, jokingly. Sam smirked, just barely but it was there. "Thanks Dean." Dean nodded and went to stand "We should probably get your arm tended to dude." He said, holding his hand out to help Sam up from the floor. Sam hesitated for a minute before accepting the hand, and fluidly standing from the ground. "It'll be fine." Dean assured him, however Sam began to shake and sat heavily on the bed. "De...please no." Dean sighed, watching as his brothers shaking got worse. "Shhh alright. I'll ask Cas if he can fix you up. If he won't though, we're going to the hospital. Alright?" Dean asked, trying to catch Sams gaze. Sam nodded slowly "Alright." He remembered Castiel, and honestly couldn't remember why he didn't call out to him instead. Sighing he laid back on the bed, closing his eyes tightly.

Dean walked outside and around the corner from the room. "Cas? You there? Please man I need you're help." The flutter of wings behind him caused him to turn around and gasp. After all they'd been through the angel still hadn't figured out the whole concept of personal space. "What do you need help with, Dean?" Castiel asked as Dean took a step back from the angel. "Something happened to Sam..." "So you found Samuel then?" Dean glared slightly at the angel for cutting him off. "Yes. Anyways Something happened to him. I don't know what, but Missouri said something happened and then I saw that Sam called and I called back...Cas his arm...its broken and horrible looking and he has this limp and when I tried to wake him up he freaked out, said 'I'm sorry Lucas I'll be good!' Please...help him?"

A pained expression crossed Castiels face, before returning to its emotionless state. "You know what happened to him." Dean accused. "I do, but it is his to tell if he wishes you to know." Dean growled and stalked forward, slamming the Angel against the wall. "You know! You were watching him, you knew where he was and you didn't tell me?" Castiel didn't react when he was slammed against the wall, but simply stared into Deans anger filled eyes. "It was his wish to leave. He asked me not to tell you." Was the calm response. "So? You didn't tell me and now he's hurt, and scared and he was alone..." Dean trailed off, slamming the angel against the wall once more. "You're going to fix his wounds. Wounds he wouldn't have if you'd TOLD ME WHERE HE WAS!" Dean continued, his teeth clenched and bared.

Castiel shrugged Deans grasp off of his trench coat and pushed him backward. "You should remember whom you speak to, Dean. I am not some human you can order around." Castiel replied, in a deadly calm voice. Shrugging off the wall he stepped towards Dean "I will heal Sam, because he is my friend as are you. But you will do well to remember that I do not answer to you." He then turned and headed into the motel room, followed by Dean. To say Sam was shocked to see Castiel was a understatement, and though he shrank back from his friend he offered a sheepish smile. "Relax Samuel, I'm just here to help you." Castiel said as he moved towards the bed, and slowly picked up Sams arm. A rare frown crossed Castiels face as he placed his hands over the broken and bruised arm. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath "This might hurt a little." He said before his hands began to glow and Sam tensed, biting his bottom lip. He could feel the bone resetting and mending. It felt like forever, but was really a few minutes before Castiel released his arm and Sam pulled it against his chest. "Are you injured anywhere else?" Castiel asked, his bright blue eyes locked with Sams, willing him to tell the truth. When Sam shook his head, Castiel sighed but let it go.

Dean moved forward then, standing next to Castiel. "Sam?" He asked, unsure if his brother was okay. He doubted that Castiel lied when he said that setting the arm might hurt. "M'fine." Sam replied, curling in on himself. Dean glanced towards Castiel and the angel nodded, before disappearing. Sam visibly relaxed after that, and Dean sat at the end of the bed. "Sammy, please...what happened?" He pleaded, reaching a hand out for Sam knowing Sam would need comfort if he was going to tell. Sam shook his head "I can't you'd hate me..." Sam whispered, but moved closer to his brother. "No I won't. Sammy please." Sam scooted to sit next to Dean, looking at the bed as he spoke softly, so soft that Dean almost missed it. "It was four months after I left...I got a job at a run down bar, washing dishes or serving drinks. He came in one night, and seemed so sweet. I should have known it was to good to be true..." Dean saw the shaky breath, and tears welling in Sams eyes. Reaching out he grabbed his brother and pulled him against his side, wrapping one arm around him. "You can stop if you want." He promised, he wasn't going to push.

Sam shook his head, sucking in a deep breath. "We went out on a few dates, and up until I agreed to move in with him he was perfect, sweet and caring. Then he changed...it started...out small..." Sam paused, gripping the comforter. "He'd get possessive, controlling over stupid things. The first time...the first time he punched me I just shrugged it off as him being drunk...I shouldn't have pissed him off..." By now tears were streaming down his face and his voice hitched. Dean began to rub circles in Sams back, trying to soothe him. "Is that all he did, hit you?" God how Dean wished it was. However those wishes were crushed when Sam shook his head. "Sammy he didn't...you know...did he?" Dean whispered, brushing the tears from Sams face. Sam nodded and let out a sobbed "De" Before burying his face in Deans chest. "Shhh Its okay. I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry Sammy. I'll make him pay, I promise." Deans arms had wrapped around Sam, and he fell back on the bed bringing Sam down with him. He just laid there, rubbing circles in Sams back while Sam sobbed into his chest. Oh yes, he'd make that fucker pay. He would pay dearly, or with his life.  


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_A/n: Alright. Ya'll convinced me to continue this. Also I want to see Lucas get his, because I love Sam. So what ya'll think of this chapter? R&R? Next chapter will be up ASAP._


	3. I'm With You

**I'm With You  


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Dean knew that he'd have to take care of this bastard sooner rather then later. If he let him get away with it, he would surely come after Sammy. It was for this reason that Dean slipped out of the motel room while Sam slept, having cried himself to sleep after revealing that this bastard had abused him. Dean assumed it was this 'Lucas' dude, considering Sams reaction when he'd tried to wake him before. Walking out to the impala, in full view of the motel room he settled down on the hood, leaning back against the window.

Pulling out his cell phone he hit speed dial 2, and put it to his ear. After three rings someone answered. "Hello?" "Bobby." "Dean! How are ya boy?" "Good...good. Listen, I uh found Sammy." "Really? That's great. Ya'll are gonna come visit right?" "Yea we're gonna head there today after Sammy wakes up. Listen, there is something I need to tell you." "Alright?" Bobby sounded confused, and weary. "Some douche bag has been abusing Sammy." "WHAT?" "Yea...That was kind of my reaction. So when we get there, I need you to keep Sam distracted while I track down this 'Lucas' and kick his sorry ass. No one fucks with Sammy and gets away with it." "Sure, whatever you need. Just make sure to kick hiss ass for me too." "Course."

Dean noticed Sam getting off the bed and coughed "Well gotta go. Sams up, We should be there by tomorrow." "Alright, and tell Sam I said Hey." "Will do" With that he ended the call and swung his legs off the side of the hood just as Sam opened to motel room door already dressed and rubbing at his eyes. "De? What are you doing?" Sam asked, slowly walking towards the car. "We're gonna head to Bobbys today. I told him I found ya. He says Hi, can't wait to see ya." Dean replied, hoping off the car and leaning back against the hood. Sam looked at him weird, like he didn't believe that for a second before shrugging "Okay...When do we leave?" Sam asked a confused look on his face. "Now" Dean replied, smirking at his brother as he pushed away from the Impala. "Already packed everything except for your clean set of clothes...that you have on. Sooo grab the dirty, and lets get goin'."

Sam shook his head, but turned back into the room and grabbed his dirty clothes before stuffing em in the front of Deans duffel away from the clean clothes, considering the outfit he'd given him was one he'd left behind before he left. He then slid into the car, and waited while Dean checked out and came back. They were off then, though Sam was confused with the sudden departure. "De...why are we leaving so suddenly?" He asked, a half hour into the drive. "Didn't want to take the chance that Lucas would find you." Dean replied, pulling onto the highway. "Oh...Wait how'd you know he's named Lucas?" Sam asked, looking at Dean like he'd done something wrong. "I tried to wake you up yesterday...you freaked out and said 'I'm sorry Lucas' just figured thats the dickwads name. Was I right?" Dean asked, glancing at Sam and seeing Sam nod.

They fell silent then, it wasn't one of those awkward silences where you struggled to find something, anything to talk about. It was an easy silence, one that was comfortable thanks to the fact they knew each other so well that they didn't really need to speak. Deans music played quietly in the background, the only sound in the car and that was the only sound they needed. Soon enough Sams eyes began to drift shut, closing as he stared out the window. Either he was exhausted or it was a sign that he trusted Dean with his life still, even after what he'd been through. Dean personally hoped it was the later. He knew that it'd be a long drive and that they'd most likely stop along the way. What he didn't notice however, and would later kick himself for was the navy blue dodge charger that was following them.

Several hours later when Dean was to tired to continue driving he pulled into the parking lot of a run down motel. Parking outside the office, he couldn't help but smile at the sight of Sam still fast asleep, his head resting on the jacket that Dean had handed him when he woke him up just enough to tell him to use it as a pillow. No need to let Sam get brain damage from hitting his head on the window every time they hit a bump right? Getting out he walked into the office. "Can I help you?" The blonde behind the desk asked. "Uh yea, one room for tonight." "King or two queens?" "Two queens." He said, no need to cause Sam to freak out if he woke up in the same bed as someone, even if that someone was his big brother. She looked out the window, where you could just barely make out the shadowed shape of Sam, it was clearly a male as well. "I bet." She whispered. "What?" Dean asked, and she shook her head. "Room 13." She said, placing two keys on the desk and Dean paid for the night.

Walking back out to the Impala he caught sight of the navy blue charger pulling into the parking lot, but once again thought nothing of it. Opening the trunk he grabbed his duffel and slung it over his shoulder, before slamming the trunk and laughing when Sam jumped at the sound. "Easy Samantha." He smirked at the answering glare he got as Sam opened the passenger side door. "Jerk." Sam grumbled. "Bitch" Was Deans response, smirk still in place. Sam shook his head, before accepting the key from his brother as Dean lead the way to the room. Dean used his key to unlock the door, just in time for Sam to shuffle closer to him. Dean glanced over his shoulder, and seeing the frightened look on his face frowned. "Whats wrong?" He asked, holding the door open and pushing Sam through first. "N..nothing just...thought I saw...Never mind, just my mind playing tricks." Sam replied, moving into the room and towards the bed furthest from the door out of habit.

Deans brows furrowed, before stepping into the room before he shut and locked the door. Putting his duffel down on the bed, he opened the bag and pulled out the salt lining the door and windows before placing it back. He wasn't stupid, he knew something had upset his brother and wasn't taking chances. Reaching into the bag again he pulled out his .45 caliber Colt MK IV pistol with ivory grips from the bag. Sam glanced over at him from where he sat on his bed, legs crossed at the ankles as he stared at the wall. Though he said nothing, he was glad that Dean was prepared for both human, and supernatural things. Of course, he knew he shouldn't be shocked. After all Dean had always protected him and watched his back, until he'd left his brother without so much as a goodbye.

Dean however was to busy loading his gun to notice his brother staring at him out of the corner of his eye. He had sworn to protect Sam, ever since they were little and he'd already failed once. He should have tried harder to find Sam, beaten the shit outta Castiel or done SOMETHING To find him. However he didn't do that, and now Sam was scared and broken even though he was acting like his old self outside the motel. The thought of the old days caused him to smirk. "What are you smirking about?" Sam asked, quietly. Dean glanced up from what he was doing. "You." Dean replied, vaguely. Sam raised a brow at this, and a questioning look crossed his face. "Just memories Sammy." Dean clarified after a moment and Sam smirked. "Ah." He replied, thinking of all the times they had prank wars, like when he'd super-glued a beer bottle to Deans hand. "Good times." Dean nodded "Good times indeed, and many more to come." He had no intentions of losing Sam again, even if he had to handcuff Sam to himself.

Sam smiled then and nodded "Hopefully..." He didn't need to voice what he was thinking. Dean knew he was afraid Lucas would find him, force him to go with him or kill him or even worse kill Dean. Dean placed his gun on his bed and got up, moving to sit on the edge of his bed. "Nothing bads going to happen to you. Not while I'm watching over you." He promised, his hazel eyes staring into Sams green ones. "I believe you..." Sam whispered, and while he did believe that Dean would do everything in his power to keep him safe he was still afraid. Dean nodded after a minute, before placing the now loaded gun under his pillow and standing from the bed. "Go take a shower or something. I'm going to fix dinner." Dean said, moving towards the makeshift kitchen in the motel room. Sam nodded then hesitated "Er I don't have anymore clean clothes." Dean turned and raised a brow "Dude, you really think I'd come without bringing some in your size?" He moved towards his duffel and pulled out a brand new T-shirt, brand new jeans, and boxers before laying them on the bed. "Thanks, De." Sam whispered and Dean nodded, though there was no need for thanks.

When Sam disappeared into the bathroom to take a shower, Dean moved back to the kitchen with a box of cheesy chicken in his hand. He also pulled out the pan he'd stuffed in there from another bag, knowing that he'd have to get Sam to eat at least one 'real' meal. If you could call this stuff real of course. After pouring everything into the pan, he placed it in the oven and made sure to keep track of the time. By time Sam got out of the shower, forty five minutes later the food was done and Dean was dipping it up onto paper plates. "Dinner is served" Dean said, turning around to see Sam buttoning his jeans. "Alright." Dean couldn't help but stare, Sam was bare chested and his torso was covered in different shades of bruises. "Sammy..." He sighed and Sam glanced down before looking to Dean and then at the ground, hastily pulling on his shirt. Dean moved towards him, stopping him from pulling the shirt down. "Why didn't you tell me, or Cas? He could have healed them..." Dean asked in a whisper. Sam continued to stare at the ground, refusing to meet Deans gaze. "I didn't want to worry you..." He said softly.

Dean frowned, before gently lifting Sams head to gaze into his eyes. "I'm worried now." Dean replied, glancing back to the bruises and gently placing his hand on one of the worse looking ones. "God Sammy.." Tears welled up in his eyes, this wouldn't have happened if he'd looked for Sam harder...this was his fault. Sam saw his brothers eyes tearing up and he moved closer, burying his face in Deans neck as he hugged his brother. "I'm okay De...I'm okay now." He whispered in his brothers ear. "My hero came and saved me from him." He added, a smirk playing at his lips. Dean wiped his eyes, gently hugging his brother. "Damn right I did. Sammy...If I ever get my hands on him..." He trailed off. "De..you can't kill him." Sam replied quietly, letting go of Dean and stepping back. "Why the hell not? SAM HE HURT YOU! IN THE WORSE POSSIBLE WAY!" Dean shouted, then regretted it when Sam flinched. "De, I know...but please...give me your word you won't kill him. I can't lose you. You'd go to prison...please." Sam pleaded, staring at Dean. "I promise I'll try. Thats the best you're going to get Sammy." Sam sighed and nodded. "Come on, dinners getting cold." He whispered, heading into the make shift kitchen and grabbing their plates, handing one to Dean before settling down on his bed.

Dean stood there, shocked for a few minutes before he moved towards his bed with the plate and settled down as well. After they finished eating, he tossed the plates and washed the forks off before going to take a shower. When he came back out, Sam was already asleep. A smirk spread across his face as he pulled the covers over Sam, before going to bed himself.

The next morning Dean woke up first, and began loading their stuff into the Impala. There was very little stuff they'd brought in, a whole whopping bag. Woo. Glancing up from the trunk when he heard another door shut. Dean glanced around, soon finding the source to be another blonde man loading up his own car, a navy blue dodge charger. The man caught him looking and walked over "Nice car. What year is it?" He asked, and Dean glanced back to his car shutting the trunk "1967" He replied, leaning against the side of the car. "Sweet. Always was a fan of classic cars." "Thanks." Dean said, feeling uneasy about this guy. "Well hey, nice talking to ya but We've gotta head out." "Alright." Lucas nodded before heading back to his car and sliding in just as Dean walked into the motel room to wake Sammy. "Sam man, come on get up and dressed. We gotta get a move on." Dean said, gently shaking Sam. The reaction was the same as last time. Sam launched himself away from Dean, however this time he ended up on the floor leaning against the wall curled up in a little ball ."I'm sorry Lucas! Please don't hurt me!" Dean felt his heart break a little more at the sight. Squatting down to his brothers level he lifted Sams face up. "Just me, Its Dean Sammy." Dean said softly. Recognition flashed in Sams eyes and he relaxed "Sorry." Was the quiet reply. "Theres no need to be sorry Sammy. Come on, get dressed so we can hit the road." Dean replied, pulling Sam up with him.

Fifteen minutes they were back on the road, the music playing softly in the background again as Sam stared out the window in silence. Dean didn't mind the quiet, and he knew that Sam needed to think things through. It wasn't every day that you left your boyfriend who abused you, and were now 'on the run' with your brother. So Dean let him have his quiet, and instead busied himself with listening to the music. Four hours later, as they were pulling onto the road that would lead them to Bobbies, Sam spoke. "Thank you." Two simple words, yet they made Dean grin slightly before glancing over. "For what?" He asked, a confused look plastered on his face. "For coming and getting me..Ya could have told me to fuck off...probably should have." Sam replied. Dean shook his head, pulling over just outside the salvage yard that Bobby owned. "Sammy, I told ya before. You aren't getting rid of me. I'll always come and get you, your stuck with me."

They didn't get to say anything after that, because that same navy blue charger pulled up behind them. "What the hell, this dude followed us?" Dean said, glancing in the side view mirror. Sam looked back out the back window and froze. "De" He said weakly. "What?" Dean asked, reaching under his drivers seat for his pistol. "Thats Lucas." Dean glared "Son of a bitch" Before pushing the door open and sliding out, tucking his pistol into the back of his pants and pulling his shirt over it as he stood. Sam got out of the car, and moved around the hood to stand behind Dean as Lucas walked towards them. "Oh look little 'Sammy' has to be a coward and hide behind big brother. To much of a bitch to face me?" Lucas taunted, glaring at Sam. Dean stepped forward, his hands clenched into fists. "No one but Me gets to call him Sammy, and if you so much as look at him again I will kill you." Dean growled out, but before he could move forward anymore Sams hand was placed on his arm in a restraining manner and a whispered "You promised." Was muttered behind him.

Dean glanced back, just turning his head to see Sam out of the corner of his eye. Sam was pleading with him, giving him his puppy eyes. Damnit. "Oh ho I'm so scared." Lucas replied, scoffing. "You have something that belongs to me, now hand him over and we'll leave all peaceful like." He continued and Dean grit his teeth. "Want him? Come and take him." Sam took the cue and stepped back knowing that Dean could easily kick Lucas' ass. They'd both been trained in combat since they were like seven. Lucas caught sight of Sam moving back and smirked "Gladly." Dean looked relaxed to the untrained eye, but Sam saw his muscles tense as Lucas moved towards him and when Lucas' fist came towards his face he quickly ducked the blow while swinging his leg out as he spun around, kicking Lucas' legs from out from under him. Sam couldn't help but smirk at the sickening crack he heard when Lucas' head hit the road. "Come on." Dean said, standing once more and glaring down at Lucas.

Sam couldn't believe Lucas' stupidity, as he slowly rolled over to get up off the ground. You would think he would have stayed down, after Dean incapacitated him so easily. Dean waited patiently, and when Lucas barely stood Deans fist flew out, punching Lucas in the stomach causing him to bend over in pain, only to be greeted with a knee to the face. Lucas collapsed back to the ground, groaning in pain. "Who's the bitch now?" Dean asked, moving towards Lucas when Bobby appeared around the fence with Rumsfeld in tow as well as a shotgun. Sam couldn't help but smirk. "Problem here boys?" Bobby asked, cocking the shotgun as he stared at the downed Lucas. "We were just having a little chat, Bobby." Dean replied glaring down at Lucas. "Oh?" Was Bobbies questioning response. "What about?" He continued. "Him never coming near my Sammy again." Lucas was still rolling on the ground gasping for breath. "Lucas I take it?" Bobby asked moving up next to Dean, at Lucas' nod Bobbies shotgun was suddenly aimed at him. "Get out of here. If I ever hear of you comin' into the same town as Sam, Dean here won't have the chance to kill ya. Got it?" Lucas gasped and nodded, stuttering out a 'yes' before shakily getting to his feet and stumbling towards his car. Dean made a move to go after him, but Sam grabbed his arm again and shook his head, it was then that Dean noticed how badly Sam was shaking. "Oh Sammy" All the anger left him as he turned, and wrapped his arms around his over-sized brother. Bobby kept his gun aimed at Lucas' car until it was no longer in sight. "Come on boys. Get the car into the yard and lets have a beer." Sam and Dean both agreed, before they all got into the Impala and drove into the salvage yard, to relax from the past few days.

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_A/N: Woo. Longest chapter thus far. Didn't plan on it taking em that long to get to Bobbies but I guess my mind decided they needed to clear the air some. That or have some brother time, who knows. I sure as hell don't. So what'd ya'll think of Lucas appearing? Also Rumsfeld is Bobbies rottweiler, in the show he only appeared once and some assume him dead since he vanished when Meg showed up. I however don't. Next chapter will be up ASAP. This probably won't be the last time we see Lucas. R&R?_


	4. I live my life for you

**I Live My Life For You  


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**

Dean and Sam followed Bobby into his house, Rumsfeld having ditched them to go play on the junk cars. Bobby reached the kitchen first, and turned when the other two trailed in holding out a beer to each of them. Dean took his beer with a grateful nod and Sam took his with a quiet "Thanks" before they sat down on the couch in the living room and opened their beers. Bobby had taken the recliner instead of the couch, leaving the two younger hunters with room to stretch out as much as possible. Sam was currently leaning more towards Dean then his arm of the couch, still shaken by seeing Lucas only days after escaping from the abusive relationship. Dean noticed this, as did Bobby and after two hours of exchanging stories between him and Dean while Sam just stared at the floor Bobby finally stood. "I'm going to get some work done out in the yard. If you need to talk, I'll be there." He said the last bit to Sam, and Sam nodded but said nothing.

To tell the truth he was shaken, and afraid that any other guy but Dean was out to hurt him like Lucas had. He knew it was stupid, he knew he could trust Bobby with his life and had done so before. However now he was unsure, he was confused as to why he didn't kick Lucas' ass the first time he'd hit him. He was a better hand to hand fighter then Dean, so why had he just taken it? Dean could tell that Sam was beating himself up over letting Lucas beat him, and decided it was time he stopped him. "Sadist" He said randomly, causing Sam to jump and look at him. "What?" Dean turned towards him and saw the bewildered and disgusted look on Sams face. "Lucas, he was a Sadist. He didn't care what you thought Sammy. When he first hit you, your body went into shock. Here was this guy that you thought was sweet and loving, and suddenly he hit you. Your mind automatically blamed yourself, and he probably noticed too. He told you that you were worthless didn't he? That no one would love you, would ever want you?" Dean asked, watching as tears welled up in Sams eyes. "It was lies. Everything he told you. It was all lies. You didn't deserve to be hit, to be raped. You didn't do anything to provoke it. He got off on inflicting pain Sammy. You're not worthless, you're the most …." Dean paused for a moment, thinking. "The most caring, loving and awesome person I know. You've saved my life more then anyone else, hell you always have my back. You're the most important person in my life Sammy, so don't let what that asshole said take you from me." Dean finished with a deep sigh.

Sam sat blinking at Dean, he totally didn't expect this huge speech from his brother. But then again what Dean said made sense, he always blamed himself when something went wrong that he could have changed or prevented. It was in his nature, he was always trying to do the best he could, to make others proud. After a few moments of silence he smirked at Dean, wiping the tears from his eyes as he said "When did you get so smart?" Dean laughed at this, and grinned. "I may have learned a thing or two from this college boy I know." Sam chuckled at this, shaking his head. Dean was glad to see Sam actually laughing, and hoped that his speech had sunk into that thick skull of his. He hated having to get all emotional, it was too chick flicky for him. However if getting emotional meant getting Sam out of his funks, then he'd do it a thousand times over.

Standing up Dean grabbed their empty beer bottles and dumped them in the trash can, which was actually marked 'recyclables'. Walking to the fridge he grabbed two more, and as he sank back down onto the couch handed one to Sam. "So, what do you say that we head out in a few days. Try to find a hunt?" Dean asked, figuring what better way to rehab Sam then to give him something to take out the anger - he was sure to come – on? "Sure. I'll look for something." Sam replied, opening his beer bottle and taking a swig. "Great. Course we should stop by Missouri's. Don't want her comin' after me with that spoon of hers." Dean shuddered, that woman seriously scared him.

It wasn't but two hours later that Sam decided he should go outside, and talk to Bobby. He figured that he at least need to reassure their father figure that he was going to be okay, that Dean would help him heal. Dumping his empty beer bottle in the recyclables he opened the screen door and walked down the steps, heading towards the garage on the property where he could see Bobby working. "Hey Bobby" He said as he walked up, leaning against the wall. Bobby glanced up from the car he was working on. "Sam." Was his greeting. "You alright son?" Bobby like Dean never was much for emotional scenes. Sam nodded "No, but I will be...Dean has been helping and says he's with me forever so he'll continue to help." Bobby seemed to size him up before he gave a gruff nod "Good." Was the one worded response, and honestly he thought that Dean better stick with his brother or he'd have to give that idjit a talkin to. Sam knew that the nod was a dismissal and thus he turned, and headed back into the house. He had felt awkward, not used to talking about feelings and such to anyone other then Dean..and even then it could get awkward what with Dean being all unemotional and such.

Later that night found all three hunters settled in the living room, in the same arrangement as when Sam and Dean had first arrived. Bobby had a beer sitting on the arm of the chair as they all watched Horatio interviewing a suspect for the murder of a drug dealer. "Why the hell would they care who killed that scum?" Dean asked, gesturing towards the tv. "Worlds better off without him in it I say." Bobby glanced at Dean before he looked back at the TV, and Sam chuckled. "Dean, no one has the right to say who lives or dies." Was his quiet reply, leaning more towards his brother. "Yea well." Dean cut himself off, glancing towards Bobby. He knew that Bobby was thinking the same thing. _If we could, there would be one less asshole in the world. _Dean noticed Sam moved closer to him and allowed his arm to slip from the back of the couch to drape over Sams shoulders when Sam dropped his head on Deans shoulder. Bobby noticed this and couldn't help the ghost of a smile that crossed his face before he lifted the beer to his lips.

Bobby didn't know why the two were so close, well closer then they normally were. He guessed it was because of Sams past, Dean was feeling even more protective then before. Though he wasn't sure John would approve of their closeness, he honestly didn't care. They kept each other human, and kept each other caring. Without Sam he was sure Dean would become so emotionless he wouldn't give a damn if a human died during his job. What Bobby didn't notice during his musings, was the fact that Sam turned his head and kissed Deans neck, causing Dean to tense for a few moments before pulling Sam closer to him because Sam had begun to inch away when he'd noticed how tense Dean went. Dean however had shrugged off the action as a drunken accident considering the amount of beers Sam had. "De. I'ma...go to bed." Sam whispered, trying to sit up and stand but Dean simply dropped his arm to Sams waist and pulled him back against the couch. "No...then I'll be left with _him_" Dean whispered in a joking tone, causing Sam to smirk at the glare Bobby shot Dean. "Ya could always come to bed too." Sam replied, not minding at all the feel of Deans arm around him. He knew he should, knew he shouldn't have kissed his brothers neck. They were brothers for gods sake, and the fact if Dean ever found out he'd be disgusted and leave. It was one reason he wanted to go to bed, before he made a fool of himself and lost Dean.

Dean seemed to ponder this, before pushing Sam up as he stood. "We're gonna head to bed Bobby." Bobby glanced up from watching the TV, or so they thought. He'd been watching them outta the corner of his eye. "Alright." Was all Bobby said, smirking when they stumbled from their legs getting tangled as they tried to move around the couch. "De let go." Sam whined, and Bobby heard a "So you can fall flat on your face? No." Granted the words were very slightly slurred, but it was amusing none the less.

Upstairs Dean and Sam were in their shared bedroom, considering Bobby only had the one spare and Dean refused to leave Sam alone. Not when Lucas knew where Bobby lived now...where they were. Sam was currently pulling down his jeans, sitting on the edge of his side of the bed having already removed his shoes. Dean was laying back on his side, in just his boxers. Granted he was under the covers already, but Sam knew. Once his jeans were off he stripped off his shirt, stood and slipped under the covers. Green eyes glanced towards Dean, scared that Lucas would somehow break in during the night. "De..." Sam whispered, and his only response was a arm reaching across and pulling him back against Deans chest. "I'm right here Sammy. No ones gonna get you." Dean whispered, head resting on his pillow. Sam turned around in Deans grasp and curled against his side, head resting on Deans shoulder and a arm draping across his brothers stomach. It was a familiar posture one they slept in a lot when Sam was younger. Deans arm was under Sam, wrapped up around his back and over his side holding him against Deans side. He had honestly missed curling up against his brothers side, it had always made him feel...comfortable one could say he supposed. Dean had always meant safety, and love for him anyways. Others might have seen his brother as mean, and cruel but he knew that even when he was being an asshole he was doing it because he loved him.

Sometime later Sam woke up to the feeling he was being watched, and as he turned his head reluctantly from where it was resting on Deans shoulder he couldn't help but scream...

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_A/N: Shortest chapter so far, but this is just sort of a filler. Next chapter will be longer and better. Updates might be slow, got a new job working with carriage horses. R&R? Better then half naked Sam and Dean._


	5. Fuck it, Fake it

**Fuck it, Fake it  


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**

Standing at the edge of his bed, was none other then Castiel. Dean jerked awake and grabbed the pistol out from under his pillow, pointing it in the direction of the angel when Sam screamed. After a few tense moments, Dean realized it was Castiel and glared "Damnit Cas." He growled out, putting the gun back under his pillow and flopping back down onto the bed. His arm tensed around Sam, pulling him against him. "Go'way." Dean grumbled, closing his eyes. Sam bit his bottom lip when Dean pulled him against him, knowing full well Dean would...feel something. Trying to scoot back he shot a glare at the angel. "What Cas?" He asked, rolling over in Deans grip to face the angel. Dean grumbled, rolling over too and pulling Sam against him again, biting back a moan when his erection pressed against Sams ass. Sams breath hitched when he felt Deans dick pressing against his ass, and couldn't help but press back against him. Dean groaned lowly, thrusting forward before slipping his brothers boxers down and thrusting against him, his clothed dick slipping between Sams ass cheeks.

Castiel seemed to notice what was going on and disappeared quickly, after a disapproving look shot towards Sam. Sam honestly didn't care, as he moaned at the feeling of his brothers dick pressing against his hole. "De..More..please." Sam moaned, pressing back against Dean even more, gasping when his brothers hand slipped around the front and began to stroke him in time with his thrusts. "Mmm" Dean groaned, rolling them over and pulling Sam up onto his knees. Slipping down he smirked, before brushing Sams entrance with his tongue. Sam moaned pushing his ass back towards Dean, gasping as Deans tongue circled his entrance before thrusting in and out at a rapid pace. "De! I'ma!" Sam gasped out, groaning when the tongue was removed.

However he didn't have time to complain when Deans mouth closed around his cock, glancing down he saw his brother laying sideways on the bed, sucking and circling the head of his cock with his tongue. A finger slipped into his ass and he cried out as he came, legs twitching as Dean took him for all he was worth, swallowing it down. Once the flacid cock slipped from his lips, Dean slipped out from under him. "Your delicious." He whispered, kissing Sams neck. Sam collapsed onto the bed, turning his head to look at Dean. "Not...that i'm complaining...but what the hell?" Sam asked, and Dean blinked at him. "Oh shit. Fuck. FUCK!" Dean cried, scrambling away from Sam. "De?" Sam whispered, tears welling up in his eyes.

Dean scrambled off the bed, stalking back and forth across the room cussing himself. How could he do that to his brother? His BROTHER? Not only was Sam his brother, but he just escaped an abusive relationship, where he was raped god knows how many times. Dean had just practically raped his brother. "I'm going to be sick." He whispered, not knowing Sam heard him as he fled from the room to throw up. Sam watched Dean run out of the room after whispering about being sick.

_He's disgusted...he doesn't want me. He'll never want me once he finds out...I wanted it, but now...now he'll hate me._ Tears that had welled up, flowed down his cheeks as he scrambled off the bed, stumbling around for his jeans and shirt. Pulling up his boxers and pants he blindly buttoned them before pulling on his shirt, stumbling towards the door as a sob escaped his throat. He managed to get out of the room and down the hall, stumbling out the front door before he collapsed against the railing. Tears streaming down his face, blurring his sight.

He knew in hindsight he shouldn't be running away, that Dean didn't REALLY hate him. But the fear of rejection, that he'd disgust his brother drove him to flee. Slowly moving down the steps he headed towards the exit of Bobbys junkyard. Only stopping when Rumsfeld ran up and tried to herd him back towards the house. "I can't boy." Sam whispered, sliding down the side of the car he stopped by, leaning against it as he sat on the ground. "He'll be disgusted if he finds out I wanted it." He whispered, stroking Rumsfeld head. Rumsfeld whined, before laying down across Sams lap keeping watch over one of his humans, while Sam dozed off. He woke sometime later to the sound of Rumsfeld growling. His brows furrowed, Rumsfeld wouldn't growl at Dean or Bobby...opening his eyes expecting to see Castiel standing there he gasped when instead he saw Lucas standing there, with a gun aimed at Rumsfeld. "Call off the dog and come here, Sam." Sam hesitated and Lucas cocked the gun, causing Sam to wrap his arms around Rumsfeld, pulling the Rottie off his lap and making him sit next to him. "When I distract him...go get Dean." Sam whispered in the dogs ear. "Stay." He stood up then, and walked slowly towards Lucas who backhanded him when he got close enough. "You were a bad whore Sam. I thought you knew better then running off to other men. No one will ever want you but me." Lucas hissed, ignoring Sams whimper of pain as he tightened his hold on one of Sams arms. Sam slowly looked at him, though not directly because Lucas never liked that.

"I'm sorry. Please let me make it up to you." Sam drawled, voice devoid of any emotion as he silently prayed Dean got there soon. "Oh you will babe. Over. And over." Lucas stepped forward forcing his tongue into Sams mouth, gagging him with it before roughly biting his bottom lip, drawing blood. Sam whimpered and gasped in pain, Lucas pulling him against him. "Who do you belong to?" He hissed into Sams ear. Sam closed his eyes _Dean_ "You" He replied, tears welling up again but he tried to force them away. He wouldn't let Lucas see him cry. "Damn right." Lucas said before dragging Sam off, not noticing when Sam dropped the photo of him and Dean when they were kids, something Dean knew he'd never leave behind willingly.

Fifteen minutes later Lucas shoved Sam through the motel room door and down onto the bed face down. He didn't even give Sam time to turn over, before he was yanking his Jeans and boxers off, undoing his own and climbing over Sam. "Who do you belong to?" Lucas whispered, biting Sams neck and drawing blood as he bit down harder and sucked. Sam gasped out "Y-you" Lucas smirked against his flesh, licking the wound. "Thats right babe." Before he shoved into Sam unprepared and dry. Sam screamed as he felt himself being ripped open, tears he'd been trying to hold back spilling over and dripping down onto the mattress as Lucas pounded into him, using his blood to lubricate himself. "Who owns you? You dirty little whore." Lucas demanded, slamming into him harder and faster. "Y-ou!" Sam cried out, trying to wriggle out from under him.

"You better never forget it. Say you like it. Say you like when I rip you open." Lucas hissed, feeling his balls tighten. When Sam didn't say anything he reached up and jerked Sams head back, causing Sam to cry out in pain. "Say it whore." "I-I Li..k..ke it!" Tears ran rampant down Sams face, mixing with the blood from his mouth. Sam felt Lucas tense and closed his eyes as the hot seed was released inside him, burning the wounds Lucas had caused. Gasping Sam closed his eyes tight, though Lucas didn't stop when he'd came instead he continued to pound into Sam harder then before and rougher. "I'm going to keep going till you don't forget who owns you my little pet." Lucas whispered, biting Sams ear.

Sam wasn't sure how many times or how long Lucas raped him, just that his ass was bloody and sore, raw and Lucas was still going at it. "Lucas! Stop please!" Sam cried out as Lucas bit down on his shoulder, ripping the skin there and shifting to thrust rougher into him causing a new flash of pain to rip through him. "P-LEASE STOP!" Sam screamed, only to have Lucas shove his face into the mattress. "Shut up whore. You know you love being my little toy." Sam was both relieved and mortified when the door was kicked in and he struggled to turn his head just in time to see Dean yank Lucas off him causing Sam to cry out from the pain. Bobby rushed over "Shit!"

He cussed, washing some of the blood away even though more was still coming from his ass as well as Lucas' seed. "Dean! Sam needs a hospital and fast!" Bobby called, rubbing soothing circles in Sams back as Sam sobbed. "Its okay Sam. Its okay." He whispered. "We'll get ya all cleaned up and to the hospital." Sams head shook "Cas...please Cas...no hospitals." Sam pleaded. Sam heard a gunshot then, and twisted his head to the side, green eyes searching. "DE?" He knew Lucas had a gun in here...please god let Dean be okay. The bed dipped and a hand was placed on his back, moving up to his head. "Shh Its okay Sammy." Dean whispered, rubbing the back of Sams neck. "De!" Sam tried to shuffle around, wanting to see his brother. "Stay still." Dean said, stilling his attempt.

However Dean did move around, letting Sam rest his head in Deans lap. Dean ran his fingers through Sams hair "Cas?" Dean called, waiting for a few minutes before the tell tale rustle of wings was heard. "Sam! What happened?" The angel actually sounded worried. "Lucas found him...Cas please...help him. He refuses to go to the hospital." Deans voice sounded like he'd been crying, and whatever Castiel saw caused him to rush over and carefully place his hands on Sams back, hesitating until he got a nod from Sam to place the other on his butt. His hands began to glow, and the pain ebbed away as did the blood and semen. After a few minutes he removed his hands "Sam should be fine now...physically..." He whispered, nodding towards Sam who'd fallen asleep in Deans lap.

"What happened to Lucas?" Castiel asked, glancing around the room. "I killed him. Bobby is disposing of the body. Cas...There was a lot of blood...how bad was?" Castiel frowned and looked at Dean. "If he'd refused the hospital and you hadn't have called me. He would have developed a sever infection due to the rips in his anal cavity and it would have moved to the blood stream...without treatment a few weeks before he died at the most." Dean closed his eyes tightly as he took a deep breath and his fingers stroked slightly firmer. "De?" Came the quiet, questioning voice of Sam. Dean glanced down at his brothers tear streaked face and smiled a strained smile "I'm here. You're alright. Cas healed you." He whispered, brushing the hair from Sams face.

Sam seemed to relax at this, and nuzzled his face into Deans leg before closing his eyes again. Dean continued to brush his hair back when Bobby came into the room and looked at the two of them, before glancing at Castiel, nodding in his direction. "Dean." Dean looked up and shot the older hunter a questioning look. "We should get him home." Dean nodded and gently extracted himself before scooping Sam up into his arms, having a sense of deja vu he sighed and carried his overgrown brother out to the Impala. When they got back to Bobbies he carried Sam inside and up to their shared bedroom placing him down on the bed and stripping him of his clothes, before pulling on clean boxers and tucking him into the bed. Dean then settled down next to the bed, drifting off in the rather uncomfortable chair with one thought on his mind. _Sammy's safe. _Sure he didn't know what the hell lay ahead of them, or how awkward it'd be after...he practically raped his brother but he knew one thing for damn sure. He wasn't letting Sammy out of his sight for a good long while.  


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_A/N: Alright. R&R. Played with the Idea of it being Lucas standing beside the bed, but liked this better. Also, incase it wasn't clear Dean was still rather drunk, and out of it in the start of the chapter. MMMK. Next chapter out ASAP._


	6. Do What You Have To Do

**Do What You Have To Do.  


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**

That night a few hours after Dean drifted off, he woke up to a scream. Well really he woke up to screaming, jerking into a sitting position he looked around before his hazel eyes found the sight that broke his heart. Sam was thrashing in his sleep, begging Lucas to stop to please stop. Moving towards the bed, he climbed up and over pinning Sams arms to the bed. "Sammy! Sam wake up!" Sams screams increased and his legs began to kick out, kneeing Dean in the side. "Fuck." Dean glanced around before straddling Sam, pinning his legs down. "Sammy wake Up!" He cried, pinning his brothers arms down harder and holding them with one arm. Leaning down he whispered in Sams ear "Its me. Its Dean. Wake up Sammy. Your safe...wake up. Please wake up." Sams screams died off, and his struggling slowed, a deep breath was taken before a hoarse "De?" was whispered and Dean sagged on top of his brother. Sam buried his face into Deans shoulder, a sob escaping him as he jerked his arms free and wrapped them around Dean, crushing him to Sams chest.

"Shh. It's alright Sammy. It's alright." Dean whispered, using his free hands to brush Sams hair back, though his face was still tucked over Sams shoulder because Sam was busy sobbing into his own shoulder. "You...you saved me." Sam hiccuped, burying his face into Deans neck and just in hailing, breathing in his brothers scent...the smell that meant he was safe, home. "I always will. Your my Sammy." Dean replied, pulling back slightly to look into Sams eyes. "If you ever run off like that again...I'll kick your ass." He scolded, causing Sam to whimper at him. "B..but you...you were disgusted..." Sam whispered. "You were going to hate me...you still will...You should...I'm a sick freak..." Dean shook his head, grasping Sams chin gently and forcing him to look him in the eye. "You are not a sick freak, and Nothing will ever make me hate you. I was disgusted with myself Sammy. Not you. I practically raped you!" Sam shook his head "You will. De...I wanted it. I've wanted it for years..." "What?" "I've...I've dreamed of you fucking me...since I was fourteen." Sam whispered so quietly Dean was sure if Sam hadn't been crushing them together he would have missed it.

Dean went quiet and tense, staring down at Sam. Time stretched and Sam began to get scared, tears welling up. He let go of Dean, pushing him off towards the side. "I told you..." He whispered, moving to sit up and leave when a arm wrapped around his waist. "I'm...I'm not saying no." Dean whispered, pressing his forehead against Sams back. "But I need time. Sammy, I love you. I thought I was the only fucked up one. I need time, you need time to heal. But promise me, you'll never, ever leave me again. If you think I hate you, I can tell you now I never will." Sam had tensed when Dean grabbed him, and after Dean finished speaking he felt Dean kiss his back and he relaxed some, turning towards his brother. His eyes were sparkling with unshed tears. "Ok. Time." "Time." Dean replied, pulling Sam back from the edge of the bed. "That's all I ask." Sam laid down, facing Dean. "I can wait a little longer. Forever really." Sam replied, "But can you hold me?" He asked, his voice shaky. He was still shaken by Lucas kidnapping him and raping him, repeatedly. Dean nodded and rolled onto his back, allowing Sam to curl up against his side. "Oh and De?" "Hm?" "You can never rape me." "What?" "I mean..I'd never consider it rape. I want you all the time." "Still shouldn't have taken advantage." Dean replied, kissing Sams forehead. "Sleep." "Mk. Love you De." "Me too Sammy."

Bobby didn't know what happened to cause Sam to bolt, just that Dean had been severally upset and then pissed when he found out Lucas had stolen 'His Sammy'. Bobby hadn't pointed out at the time, that Sam wasn't 'Deans' because well it would have proven a pointless argument and one they didn't have time for at the moment. When they found Sam, the sight of that...asshole doing that to Sammy, pissed Bobby off. He wanted to rip the mans dick off and shove it down his throat, however he didn't have a chance. Dean saw that scene and had launched himself at Lucas in a blind rage, causing Sam to scream out in pain. Bobbies fathering instincts had taken over, and he had rushed over to clean up Sam, but there was just so much blood...and god he didn't want to think about it. Sams eyes were dull, when he twisted his head slightly. Bobby had honestly been afraid they'd lose him then and there, but the boy pulled through, and seemed to relax when Dean rushed over after killing Lucas. Bobby had went to dispose of the body, burning it to make sure his ghost never came back. Dean had destroyed the bastards body, before he shot him he'd carved up Lucas' chest, privates and face with a knife. The damage done to the poor bastards dick made him flinch in sympathy. Of course, Lucas didn't deserve any sympathy. When they'd returned home Dean had carried a unconscious Sam upstairs, and asked for them to be left alone. Bobby wouldn't disregard the boys wishes, even if he wanted to see that Sam was alright for himself.

The next morning Sam woke up, tensing until he took in a deep breath and all he smelled was Dean. A smile spread across his face, as he inched closer to his brother and nuzzled Deans chest. He didn't want to get up, he didn't know that Dean was already awake until his brother brushed the hair from his face causing him to look up and blush. "Morning." Dean said, smirking at his baby brothers blush. "Mornin'." Sam replied, resting his head on Deans chest and throwing one of his legs over Deans laying half on top of his brother. Normally Dean didn't believe in cuddling, thought it a waste of time. However if Sammy wanted to cuddle, he was more then happy to lay there and hold his brother.

"We should get up for breakfast, before Bobby thinks I smothered you in your sleep and escaped in the night." Dean whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind Sams ear. "Don't wanna." Sam mumbled, turning his head to lean into Deans hand. "Sore?" Dean asked, cupping Sams face as his other hand ran up and down his back. Sam shook his head "Just wanna cuddle." Dean knew Sam was still shaken by yesterdays events, and feeling guilty. So he did the one thing he could think of. Rolling them over he hovered over his brother, and leaned down. "Sammy, listen to me alright?" He asked, his lips trailing over Sams face as he placed feather light kisses. "Mk." Sam replied, closing his eyes.

"You're safe here. Yesterday wasn't your fault. -" "I know De but -" "But nothing. Yes you ran off, but you weren't expecting Lucas to be as dumb as to ignore our warning. You were upset, and for that I'm sorry. But no ones mad and you need to eat." Dean cut off any protests to that by sealing his lips over Sams, pressing his body down against his brothers slightly as his tongue ran over Sams lower lip. He nipped it lightly, smirking at the low moan Sam emitted before he pulled back, kissing the corner of Sams mouth when he pouted. "God you're so hard to resist." He whispered, nipping Sams neck. "Gods. Then don't." Sam moaned, fingers digging into Deans hips. "Tempting. But I said I'd give you time to heal Sammy. Now...Lets go get breakfast." He pressed one last chaste kiss to Sams lips before rolling off the bed.

Sam shot Dean a glare that was totally one of them 'If looks could kill' ones. Though he was glaring he too rolled off the bed and headed towards the bathroom "Yea well I get first shower." He shot over his shoulder, sticking out his tongue when Dean glared at him. "Like hell you do." Dean replied, stalking towards him. Sam smirked and bolted into the bathroom, quickly stripping off his boxers and slipping into the shower. Dean growled as Sam turned on the water, figuring he'd won. However Dean slid over to the toilet and grinned, before flushing the toilet and causing the water to turn cold. This of course caused Sam to screech like a girl – that he'd totally deny later – and Dean to laugh his ass off.

Sam stuck his head out of the shower and scowled "Jerk" Dean smirked and replied with "Bitch" The smirk still in place. He knew that if Sam was going back to their antics, that he just might be okay. Perhaps he really was tougher because of the life they live, he knows there are worse things out in the world then abusive assholes. Sure Dean wished it hadn't happened to his Sammy...but maybe, just maybe everything would be okay in the end. He didn't know how long it would be before Sam would really begin to heal but he knew he'd be there for him.

Half an hour later Sam exited the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. When he returned to their room, he found Dean laying on the bed, eyes closed but his breathing proved he wasn't asleep. Sam shuffled around, pulling on his clothes before heading towards the door. "For what it's worth. I've got your back." Came from behind him. He paused, turning as his mind churned flashing back to a time when he'd said the exact same thing to Dean. Lips twitched at this before he replied with "Yea. I know." Hoping Dean would remember too, before he turned and walked out of the room.

Dean watched as Sam entered the room, but when Sam started to look up, he closed his eyes. Simply listening as his brother shuffled around and got dressed. When the foot steps started to move away, towards the door he opened his eyes. "For What it's worth. I've got your back." Dean mumbled, watching as Sam paused and the corner of his mouth twitched before he replied. So Sam remembered too, even though he shouldn't... Worry begins to set in, had he scratched at the wall that Death put in his mind again? When had he done that? What happened? He forced himself to take a deep breath, Sam was fine...as fine as he could be, given the circumstances. But Dean would keep an eye on him, last thing he needed was to lose his brother again and this time...it could be forever. The last time he lost his brother, he didn't think he'd survive. No he didn't mean when Sam jumped into Lucifers cage, he meant when Sam left him without a word.

To wake up and find his brother gone, had scared him more then anything else. What if Sam was hurt, what if he was being tortured? He'd searched for months, looking for Sam and checking with other hunters. But eventually he had to accept the fact that either Sam was dead, or he just didn't want to be found. Dean had continued hunting, but he had changed. He no longer cared if some innocent died, why should their families be happy when his heart broke more with each day? Had he really been so horrible to Sam that he'd decided to flee in the night? Dean had become the ghost of who he used to be, and as he laid thinking back on those days he couldn't help but feel his heart aching. He shook his head to try and clear such thoughts. Sam was back, and he was safe. Dean would make sure he remained that way, and that he'd never find out about the damage his disappearance had done to Dean.

Pushing up off the bed he trailed after Sam, walking down the stairs to the main part of the house and into the living room where he found Sam and Bobby. "Breakfasts ready boys." Came Bobbies gruff voice as he stood up from the couch, leading the younger hunters into the kitchen even though they both knew where it was. After all they'd spent loads of time here, both as kids and as adults. Dean watched as Sam sat down at the table with a plate in hand, his attention grabbed when fingers snapped in front of his face causing him to flinch slightly. An amused Bobby handed him his plate, before taking his own and sitting down at the table across from Sam. This of course left the seat next to Sam open, and he rolled his eyes before moving to sit next to his brother.

As soon as he put his plate down, he watched in shock as Sam reached over and snatched a piece of bacon before popping it into his mouth. "Wha...tha...Sam!" He glared, reaching over to snatch something off Sams plate only to have his arm pinned to the table and a smirk sent his way. "Oh were you gonna eat that?" Sam asked in a totally innocent tone. Deans mouth dropped open as he stared at Sam for several minutes, with a 'deer caught in the headlights' expression which caused Bobby to laugh. "Son, close your mouth. You're gonna catch flies that way." Deans mouth remained open until Sams hand pushed it shut. "You. You. Little." Dean grumbled out, scowling at his brother. "I'll get you for that. Just you wait." He grumbled under his breath, before turning to his own breakfast trying to ignore Sams silent laughter.

Dean didn't know it, but Sam was trying to show him that with his help and support, he'd be okay in the end. Dean did what he had to do, and now Sam would do what he had to do in order to make it through the days. He knew however, with his rock beside him he'd be alright. Which was exactly what Dean was, Sams rock... He was strong, stable, hard...and always there. Sam knew he could grab onto his rock when he felt the currents getting to strong, pulling him down into depression. He knew his De would always be there to support him.

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_A/N: Well another chapter up. Dunno if I wanna end it here, and do a sequel or continue this one. R&R?_


	7. Never Say Never

**Never Say Never  
**

* * *

A few days passed and Sams behavior was picking up. He seemed happier lately, though most of his days were spent lingering around Dean while Dean worked on the Impala or around the yard. To some it might have seemed boring, but Sam enjoyed this time. He'd joke around with Dean, and even tease him some..like how he'd never fix a car and such. Dean loved spending time with his brother, and even more that Sam was smiling more. When Bobby asked Sam why he was trailing after Dean like a little puppy, Sam replied with 'He makes me feel safe' and Bobby had dropped it. If Dean didn't care, then Bobby wouldn't say anything else. In fact it made him remember their childhood, when Sam would follow Dean around and try to copy him. Bobby had chuckled at that thought, watching as Dean playfully smacked Sam after something he'd said.

This morning however, Sam didn't want to get out of bed. Dean was currently sitting on his side of the bed, a hand placed on Sams arm. "Sammy, please?" He whispered, trying to cox his brother out of the bed. Sams head shook, and he shuffled down into the covers as he remained facing away from Dean. What Dean didn't know, was that tears were streaming down Sams face silently. Dean sighed and let his head fall back against the wall. _Why now? He was doing so good!_ He groaned in his mind before looking down at Sam. "Why not?" He asked, rubbing Sams arm. Sam shook his head, not wanting to speak. Dean sighed and shuffled down on the bed, draping his arm over Sams waist. "Alright fine." Sam was shocked when instead of leaving and getting annoyed or pissed at him that Dean laid down and offered him comfort. Sam rolled over in Deans embrace, and buried his face in Deans neck. Dean could feel the wet tears on his skin, and tightened his hold on Sam. When Bobby peeked in the room, Dean shook his head in a way of saying 'Sams having a bad day.' Bobby simply nodded and left the room.

It wasn't but an hour later that Dean extracted himself from the bed, and headed downstairs. Dean knew that Sam was living in hell, that every day even when he was happy the memories of what happened haunted him. He would have given anything to switch places, or in this case memories with Sam. He hated seeing his brother in pain, be it physical or emotional. A scowl crossed his face, if he had his way he'd bring Lucas back just to torture him, make him suffer like Sam did. However he couldn't have his way, and was resigned to the fact that he had to pick up the pieces. He just couldn't help wondering, if the damage done..the psychological pain was permanent. Bobby looked up from his spot on the couch when Dean finally reached the bottom of the stairs. "How ya feelin Sunshine?" He asked, trying to make light of the situation. "Fine." Was Deans response as he rounded the railing and headed towards the kitchen.

He was going to get something to eat, and get Sam something to eat. That was if he could get his brother to eat. Pushing the door open he moved into the kitchen and opened the icebox browsing the choices. Shaking his head he pulled out the pre-mixed salad from the icebox and placed it in a bowl before covering it lightly with Sams favorite dressing. That done he reached into the icebox and zapped himself some of the left overs from the dinner the night before, ribs. He filled two glasses with water and placed them and Sams salad on a tray...why Bobby had a tray was beyond Dean but he didn't stop to question it. Instead he focused on bringing Sam his food and trying to comfort his brother the best he could. Pushing their bedroom door open with his foot and shutting it the same way, he set the tray down on the night stand next to Sam as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He didn't need to do more then place a hand on Sams arm, before his brother was jerking and eyes shooting open as they scanned the area before locking onto his face. "De" Sam breathed his body visibly relaxing which secretly pleased Dean. It meant to him that Sam felt safe around him.

Dean offered his brother a small smile before leaning over and picking up the tray, settling it on Sams lap. "Eat." He ordered, staring at Sam as his brother looked down at the food and glancing back to Dean, a shy look in his face before returning to his lap. It pained Dean to see his brother like this, he normally wouldn't hesitate to eat his salad. "For me? Please?" Dean added, nudging the salad towards Sam. Sams eyes slowly raised to meet Deans, and Dean flinched from the emptiness of em. "Please?" Dean repeated and slowly Sam reached out and speared a piece of lettuce with his fork and bringing it to his mouth. He wasn't really hungry, but it'd make Dean smile – which he currently was, a blinding smile – so he'd eat. Dean didn't care that he was beaming at his baby brother, to get him to eat in this funk was great. Moving up the bed he leaned back against the head board next to Sam. "Thats my Sammy." The affection was clear as day in his tone, nothing more was needed to be said as Sam continued to eat his salad, and even finish it.

Dean wanted to urge Sam to drink some of the water, but opted for 'monkey see monkey do' approach instead, and reached over to pluck his glass from the tray. He slowly raised it to his lips, watching Sam from the corner of his eye as he swallowed three sips before setting it down on his leg. Sam glanced towards him, and then the water and back before those gorgeous green eyes settled on Deans glass. Sams hand inched sideways, snaking across Deans thighs and closing around the bottom of his glass. He didn't even hesitate, but released the glass and watched as Sam lifted it to his lips and swallowed some of the water before shyly handing it back. Dean placed it on the night stand along with the tray, and leaned over. "I love you, Sammy." He whispered before placing a kiss on Sams cheek. Sam blushed and murmured a quiet "Love you." before turning on his side and sliding down the bed some, to bury his face in Deans neck. Dean sighed and wrapped his arms around Sam, pulling him so Sam was half on top half off of him. Sam sighed softly, nuzzling his face into Deans neck and placing a kiss on the skin before drifting off to sleep.

It was in this position that Bobby found them four hours later, Deans legs had fallen asleep hours ago but he refused to move. "How is He?" Bobby asked in a hushed voice. Dean turned his head slightly, looking at their father figure over Sams head. "Hes afraid...scared..." "It's understandable son. At least he ate?" Bobby asked, nodding towards the tray. "Yea. I got him to eat." "Good...I'll take these out." "Thanks Bobby..." "For?" "For not kicking my ass and throwing me out the door. Not most people would be alright with two brothers in love." "Boy, I know you'd never do anything to hurt him. Hell, he's to stubborn that even if I did he'd be tracking you down. However, ya hurt him. I'll unload a round of buckshot in you. Ya idjit." Dean smirked at this "I know ya would." He knew Bobby loved them like they were his own, he'd helped raise em after all.

Bobby nodded to him and headed out of the room, just as Sam stirred a low groan escaping him as he buried his face into Deans neck again and tightened his arms around Deans shoulders. Dean chuckled and rubbed circles in Sams back "Rise and Shine princess." He whispered into Sams ear, and Sam grunted at him before slowly lifting his head from its hiding spot, blinking sleepily at him. "Time?" He murmured raising one hand to rub at his eyes. Dean glanced at the clock "Two PM." Dean replied honestly and Sam looked him in the eyes, his love clear as day in them. "Guess we gotta get up hm?" It was clear that Sam was feeling better, and Dean nodded but tightened his arms around his brother. "Yea...Or we could not, and say we did." He replied with a sly smirk. Sam shook his head before leaning down slightly "Tempting...but I don't think Bobby will be pleased." A confused look crossed Deans face, until a throat was cleared from the doorway and Dean turned bright red. Sam burst out laughing, rolling off his brother who growled and rolled to hide his head under the pillow. Sam continued to chuckle as he placed a kiss on Deans shoulder before smirking at Bobby who just shook his head. "Glad to see you're in a better mood Sam." Sam was grateful Bobby was ignoring what he just saw, and Dean was as well...even though it was equal to being caught by your dad in this situation. Come to think of it...he was sure his Dad would disapprove...but for some reason he didn't give a fuck. He got his Sammy back, and he wasn't letting go.

_Picture you're the queen of everything  
As far as the eye can see  
Under your command  
I will be your guardian  
When all is crumbling  
Steady your hand_

_You can never say never_  
_Why we don't know when_  
_Time, time and time again_  
_Younger now then we were before_

_Don't let me go_  
_Don't let me go_  
_Don't let me go  
_

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_A/N: Alright this is sort of a filler chapter. Just good ol fluff, Dean being caring and such. Thought I'd end it with both of them embarrassed by being busted by Bobby xD The lyrics are from 'Never say never – The fray' as well as the chapter name. Ya should look it up, think it sorta fits. ANYWAYS Next chapter will be up ASAP...been busy in real life._


	8. Hold Me When I'm Scared

**Hold Me When I'm Scared  
**

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The next morning found Sam and Dean back to 'their old selves' if you thought Dean working on cars and Sam trailing after him normal. Dean didn't mind, but he knew that he had to get Sam to go out, be around people to get over those moments where he'd freak out...have flash backs and see Lucas instead of the person in front of him. It had happened to them a few times, he'd touch Sam and watch as he all but jumped out of his skin and start mumbling or back away shaking his head. Dean glanced over to where his brother was sitting on the hood of the Impala, next to the Monte Carlo he was working on.

Sams back was pressed against the windshield, legs pulled up close and arms wrapped around them with his head resting on his knees. Dean noticed that Sams eyes were closed, and his breathing even. Sighing he set down the wrench and moved towards Sam, slowly wrapping a arm around Sams back and leaning against the side of the hood, pulling his brother to him. "Sammy..." He whispered, pressing a kiss to Sams temple. Sam groaned and nuzzled his face on his knees causing Dean to smile. "Sammy..wake up." He whispered, kissing lower on Sams face. "Mmm De?" Came the sleep raspy voice, and Dean chuckled "Yea. It's me." He tightened his arm around Sam slightly, kissing his neck.

Sam slowly lifted his head and Dean pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, waiting for Sam to respond before he ran his tongue along Sams lower lip begging for entrance which was happily granted. Sam moaned when Deans tongue entered his mouth, exploring every inch before luring his own tongue into Deans mouth. Sams arms unwrapped from around his legs only to wrap around Deans waist, pulling him closer to the car. Dean pulled back when the need for air became to much, but instead of breaking contact he simply moved to kiss Sams neck, gently nipping the flesh before soothing it with his tongue.

Sams eyes slowly opened as his head rolled to one side and his fingers dug into Deans hips pulling him closer. Pulling back he twisted on the hood of the impala, so his legs dangled off the side and Dean was standing between them before pulling himself closer. Dean didn't mind the brief pause as Sam situated himself again, and as soon as he was pulled closer reattached himself to Sams neck, grinning as Sam moaned and tried to get even closer...though it wasn't possible. "God..De..." Sam breathed as Deans hands moved downwards, pulling Sam closer to the edge of the hood and thrusting against him.

Sure Dean knew he should stop it, before it went to far...but Sam was just so tempting. Moving back some he gasped as his own hips thrust up again, brushing their erections together. "God...we...should stop." He whispered, kissing Sams lips lightly. "Mm...Yea...Don't wanna." "Yes..." Dean breathed as he thrust up again, closed his eyes and listened as Sam moaned. God it was tempting to keep going, but he forced himself to step back, his hand cupping Sams cheek when Sam pouted. "We will...but...its too soon Sammy." Sam knew he had to agree, and turned his head to kiss the inside of Deans palm. "Love you." "Love ya too, Sammy." Dean leaned in and kissed Sammy one more time before moving slowly back to the car he had been working on..trying to will away his erection. _Ruby...dad...bobby in a speedo...EW bad image...god mentally scarred now. _Dean shook his head, and grimaced at that thought but it worked. Sam was having a similar issue, but had gone back to leaning against the windshield watching Dean as he worked.

Hours later Sam was inside taking a shower when Bobby finally came outside and leaned against the impala while Dean continued to work. "I see you finally got him to go somewhere alone?" Bobby asked in a gruff tone, causing Dean to tense and slowly turn to look at their father figure. "He wanted a shower. I wasn't done with this car, so yes." Dean replied in a tight tone. "Why? Are you saying there is something wrong with the way hes acting?" Dean asked, a hint of sarcasm in his tone. Bobby pushed away from the car, shaking his head. "Son, that boy needs to talk to someone, a professional. It's not good for him to keep it bottled -" "Don't you think I know this? Don't you think I know its hurting him to keep it to himself? I know Bobby! I raised him, Me. I know my Sammy, I know him better then anyone! -" "I know that son! I'm not questioning that, but he's suffering right now. He's not getting any better and just seems to be clinging to you. -" "Did it ever cross your mind that he needs to know hes safe? That he wants his brother?" "Then get him to talk to someone! Hell even you! Me! Someone!" "I already did" Came the soft voice of Sam, as he walked past bobby and stood close to Dean flinching at his brothers anger and tense body language. Dean sighed and took a deep breath, before wrapping his arm around Sam loosely. "Its alright Sammy." He soothed, rubbing circles on Sams hip before Sam relaxed into his side. "I already talked to De..." Sam continued, wrapping his arm around Deans waist as well.

Bobby glanced between them before turning and walking away, not wanting to upset Sam by continuing the fight. Sam frowned though and glanced down at Dean, sighing when Dean just shook his head and gently squeezed him. "De?" He breathed leaning down and burying his face into Deans neck. Though he was sweaty and greasy, Dean wrapped his other arm around his brother and leaned back against the car shushing Sam and just holding him. God he was turning into such a sap.

Dean didn't know how long they stayed like that, but after what seemed forever Sam straightened though he continued to look down at the ground instead of at Dean. Sighing Dean pushed away from the car and pushed Sams chin gently lifting his head. "What do ya say we go out today?" He asked his head tilting slightly. Sam stared at him for several moments and Dean was sure he thought that he'd grown a second head or something, before a brief smirk crossed Sams face – strained as it was – before he shook his head. "Funny De." He whispered pulling away from his brother. This caused Dean to frown, brows furrowing and everything. "I wasn't kidding...but if ya don't wanna go..." He trailed off shrugging, not wanting to get into it with his brother and trying not to scream at him that he had to go around people to get better. He stared at Sam for a moment before turning away from him and Sam felt his heart clench.

He wanted to make his brother proud of him, happy. He wanted to show Dean that he could do this, that he'd be fine...but he was scared. When Dean turned away from him he reached out and grabbed Deans arm without really thinking about it. "De." That one word sounded broken even to his own ears. He waited until Dean stopped and even turned his head slightly towards him before he continued. "I want to...Its just..." This got Deans attention and caused him to turn towards him fully. "Just what?" Dean asked, his voice so soft...so caring. "Scared?" Sam offered, a sheepish smile briefly making its appearance. "I'll be right there with you Sammy...every step of the way... I just...I want you to be able to go out in public without jumping out of your skin if someone bumps into you. I want my brother back, my smart sarcastic, caring over sized brother who seems to be lost. I want to make you feel safe Sammy, I want you to be happy. Let me help, please?" "I do feel safe..." "Oh?" "With you..." Sam trailed off shaking his head as he stared down into his brothers hazel eyes. "Lets go out...I'll...give this a try...for you." The answering smile was enough to make it worth it, he owed Dean after all right?

Later that day Dean and Sam were standing on the sidewalk in town, the Impala parked beside the curb. "Alright I'ma walk down there." Dean said, pointing to the next corner. "You're gonna try to walk to me." "De..." "Shh..If you get to scared, I'll be here in a flash I promise." Dean soothed, rubbing circles in Sams hip where his hand was rested. Sam took a deep breath and closed his eyes, before nodding so slightly that if Dean hadn't been watching he would have missed it. Dean smiled and squeezed his brother gently before extracting himself. "Ready?" He asked watching as Sam nodded and forced a smile "Yea..." "Sammy..we don't have to do this if - " "Yes..I do. De...I don't wanna be scared..." "Alright..." Dean glanced around before leaning up and placing a chaste kiss to Sams lips. "For courage." He whispered before pulling away and walking down to his corner, nodding when he got there.

Sam took a deep breath, his face still hot with a blush from the brief kiss. He wanted to do this, he could do this...he could be brave to get to his De. Closing his eyes he shoved away from the Impala and stepped into the crowd, opening his eyes and letting out a low sigh. A whimper escaped him however when a man bumped into him and he flinched away causing the man to give him a weird look. He stopped his progress, wrapping his arms around himself and closing his eyes tightly. "Come on Sammy..." Dean breathed as he watched this, and slowly he extended one of his hands. "Come on baby boy." He whispered again. Sam slowly relaxed and opened his eyes searching the crowd before locking on Dean and offering a brief smile. Dean returned the smile, and nodded as Sam took another step forward and then another. He slowly made his way down the sidewalk, whimpering and flinching if someone bumped into him. About fifteen feet from Dean he shook his head, a signal that he couldn't do it and wrapped his arms tightly around him. Dean could see him shaking and he quickly closed the distance between them.

"Sammy." He breathed as he gently placed his hand on Sams arm he knew better then to just grab his brother when he was like this. "Look at me Sammy...come on open your eyes." Sam whimpered and slowly opened his eyes "De" He breathed before wrapping his arms around his brother and Dean could feel tears soaking into his shirt and his brother shaking with silent sobs. Dean wrapped his arms around his brother as well, rubbing circles in his back. "Shh you did good Sammy...its alright." He soothed, rocking from side to side slightly trying to ignore the confused looks from those around them, and glaring at those that shot them disgusted looks. He continued his mantra over and over, until Sams sobs lessened into little hiccups. "See..its alright baby boy. Come on...Lets go get you a mocha frappé...you'd like that yea?"

He asked and smirked when Sam nodded quickly. Shaking his head Dean lead them back through the crowd to the impala, glaring at anyone that got too close to Sam. Once Sam was safely in the passenger seat one older lady came up. "Is he alright?" She asked, concern clear in her tone. "He'll be alright...Thanks for your concern." She studied Dean for a moment before glancing towards Sam. "You take care of him. No matter what some close minded people think young man." Dean gaped at her for a few moments before clearing his throat. "I do. I always have." She smiled and nodded before walking off.

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_A/N: Whoo another chapter finished. There's a little...well I dunno what to call it. xD Lets just go with treat for ya'll in there. They're making progress...even though it'll take years for Sam to recover fully most likely, PROGRESS IS GOOD! Yes yes. Anyways R&R please and thanks. I'll have next chapter up ASAP._


	9. There You'll Be

**There You'll Be  
**

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It was months later, and Dean was pleased with how far his brother had come. He knew it'd take months more, maybe even years for Sam to be back to 100% but as they walked down the sidewalk in the park he knew that things were shaping up. It'd been rough for awhile, with Sam having relapses about contact from anyone outside of him and well Bobby. Currently Sam was talking animatedly to Castiel, who looked rather bored if you were to ask Dean. Dean still hadn't forgiven their angel friend for his betrayal of his trust, for causing in a round about way the pain that Sam went through. Really he considered it torture. He still remembered the day that Sam told him what happened, how he'd wanted to kill everyone. No not the day he admitted to being raped, but the day two months later that Sam went into detail the years he suffered at the hands of Lucas.

"_Dean?" Came the quiet voice of his brother from the spot next to him. They were currently laying in bed, Sam having had another bad day where he refused to get out of the bed and Dean was there to comfort him "Yea?" Dean asked, glancing down at his brother sleepily. He was after all half asleep for gods sake. "I...I...can I talk to you about what happened...then?" Sam asked sheepishly. Dean tensed at this, and closed his eyes for several minutes before he replied in a strained voice "Anytime Sammy." He even made sure to pull his little brother closer "But only if you're sure you want to..." "I do." Sam whispered, clinging to his brother as well. It was quiet for several minutes, the only sound in the room was their breathing and the annoying 'drip...drip...drip' from the bathroom sink. Something Dean suddenly remembered he had to fix, before it drove him insane. "Well..." Sam began and paused to take a deep breath..._

_**It was nearly midnight and Sam was scurrying to finish cleaning the kitchen. Lucas would be home from work any minute, and he knew that if the kitchen wasn't spotless there would be hell to pay. Sam briefly wondered when he'd gone from the hunter that demons feared, to being terrified of a single human being. There were already fresh bruises around his wrists, and a black eye from the night before when he'd smarted off to Lucas and then refused to have sex with his boyfriend. The sound of a key in the lock, slow it seemed to Sam as the doorknob twisted and the door slowly opened to reveal a exhausted Lucas. Sam dropped the rag from his hand into the kitchen sink and scurried over to where Lucas collapsed on the couch. Dropping to his knees Sam began to unlace his boyfriends boots and pull them off, and then his socks. Lucas glared down at the green eyed man before him "That kitchen better be clean bitch, and dinner ready or else." He snarled out and Sam cringed. "It is...babe." It'd become hard for Sam to use terms of endearment towards this man. This wasn't the man he had fallen in love with.**_

"_**I'll be the judge of that." Lucas sneered as he shoved Sam down onto the floor before he stood and headed towards the kitchen. Sam knew it wouldn't be good enough, it never was good enough. He clenched his eyes closed, and curled into the fetal position seconds before the scolding hot pan with lasagna came crashing into his side causing him to scream out and scramble up onto his hands and knees as he tried to move out of the line of fire. "You call that cooked?" Lucas snarled as he reached down grabbing Sam by the hair and jerking back, causing Sams head to crane backwards until it was painful. "Y..Yes!" Sam whimpered, fighting back the tears as his flesh stung. Lucas twisted his fingers and pulled back further "Really? Would Dean consider that a fit meal?" He whispered causing Sam to cringe. He wisely kept quiet, and Lucas sneered as he shoved Sams head down as he kicked him in the stomach causing Sam to roll onto his back and curl in on himself. "Now, as for the kitchen you're going to go in there and clean it from roof to floor over and over again until I say its cleaned. Is that understood whore? Or do I need to make a phone call?" Sam nodded and shook his head at the same time. A kick to his side caused him to gasp "Answer me!" Lucas snarled. "I understand!" Sam gasped out. Lucas smirked "Well, get to." Sam nodded and slowly rolled over, getting on his hands and knees and went to stand but he was covered by Lucas who pressed his dick into Sams covered ass. "Crawl into the kitchen my little bitch. You'll be taking care of my little problem later." Sam gulped and slowly and painfully crawled into the kitchen.**_

_Dean was furious he was about to get out of that bed and kill someone, anyone since Lucas was already dead. As he jerked back the covers and moved to get up the only thing that stopped him was the hand on his arm that came with a whimper. Turning his head he caught sight of his brother, sobbing silently. Deans heart broke then, and swallowed down his anger to instead comfort his brother. "I'll never let you go through that again." He swore, and he was dead serious. He was never letting go of Sam again, and if his brother left he'd track him down and kick his ass._

"De...De...DEAN!" Dean jerked and glanced around before landing on the concerned face of his brother, noticing for the first time the hands on his shoulders and the disapproving look coming from Castiel just over Sams shoulder. Dean glared at Castiel who rolled his eyes and turned to continue on ahead of them. "Are you okay?" Sam asked quietly, his green eyes searching Deans hazel ones. "Yea Sammy, I'm fine...Just thinkin is all." "Did it hurt?" Sam asked smirking – barely there – and raising a brow. "Smartass." Dean growled as he lunged forward grabbing Sam in a headlock. "HEY! NO! DE NO!" Sam laughed and tried to jerk free while Dean gave him a noggie. Dean was laughing as well, and after they struggled for a few minutes he released his hold. "DEAN!" Sam growled before he lunged and Dean dodged, taking off down the sidewalk laughing as he ran. "Gotta catch me first Sammy!" He hollered back and saw Castiel chuckle and smirk when Sam charged after him.

Castiel knew that the boys weren't healed from the ordeal with Lucas, and that Dean may never truly forgive him for not telling him when it first started. But as he watched then goofing off ahead of him, he couldn't help but smile because he knew that with Deans help, Sam would make a full recovery.

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_A/N: THE END! I might make a sequel, depends on if I get enough reviews. So what'd ya'll think of it? I'll be working on the sequel to Forever United soonish, so check out that fanfic if you havent already._


	10. Author note

Sequel is up. It's called 'Just Memories'


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